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This space is all about seeking
the moments that cause 
'excited chills' and creating a life 
that's simple, authentic and beautiful. 



No More Playdates - Creating a circle of friends

2/24/2017

7 Comments

 
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I miss playdates. When I was having my babies, two co-workers (now lifelong friends) were pregnant with me. Once we became stay-at-home moms, we’d get together regularly to keep each other sane in the middle of the crazy muddle.

In assembly-line style, we’d prepare, cut, plate and serve nine little lunches to our collective nine sweet children.

Then we’d talk...and talk…and talk. Until the wheels eventually fell off and we headed home to regroup before dinner.

Those days were full and exhausting, but so happy. I felt incredibly supported. I belonged to an amazing tribe. 

I crave that uninterrupted girl time. Actually, it was constantly interrupted, but we’d just pause and pick right back up after finding a toy or wiping a nose.

The playdate was the perfect excuse to spend regular, quality time with my closest friends.

​I want that again!




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Authentic female friendships feed the soul.


My kids are teenagers. Playdates are over. Their time with friends requires no planning from me. I no longer have that built-in reason to get together with my friends.

Moving across the country three years ago has made it impossible to spend face-to-face time with the women I've known for decades.

Impromptu lunch dates at Terrain and annual birthday celebrations sadly aren’t possible given the distance between us.

Relocating to a new town is lonely and hard. As a mom of three, my priority was not on finding new friends for myself. Instead, I spent most of the first year making sure my children were happily settled into new friendships.

And, due to some personal circumstances, I built a wall that prevented new friendships from really developing. Not feeling secure enough to dive deeply into a new circle of friends, I stuck with breezy work friendships and polite connections with neighbors. 

It's been three and a half years. I need a circle of friends.
I long for a welcoming group of women who enjoy one another enough to spend time together somewhat regularly. 


So...I’ve decided to take action.

Recently, I devoted three afternoons -in the same week- to friendship. 

I met two funny friends for an easy lunch and lots of laughter. 

I drank the perfect tea in the newly renovated home of a special lady.

I shared a spicy take-out birthday lunch with a treasured soul.

Wow! My friendship cup was overflowing!  

I smiled all week. My spirits were soaring. My mind quiet and peaceful.

I felt loved and inspired and truly blessed.

What took me so long?

Why haven't I made time to cultivate deeper friendships?


Lots of reasons, but what matters is that I’m determined to make friendship a priority.

I understand that my joy depends on it.

So, I’m taking matters into my own hands and starting a girls’ club.
A circle of wonderful women.
​

Playdates without the babies.

We all deserve some dedicated time to be enriched by the presence and energy of others.

No matter how busy we are, there must be at least one chunk of time every four-six weeks when we can meet up for an hour or two and just be. Together.

I’m ready to dig deeper with some amazing women and grow our friendships into something even more beautiful.

The invitations go out this week...I’m hoping for a whole lot of ‘I’ll be there’ responses:-)

How do you keep your friendships strong?

Have you made any new friends lately?


I'd love to know your thoughts on friendship. Thanks for following along. 

You can sign up for Weekly Updates here. 

Have an amazing day!
xo Kristen
​


​
P.S. I foolishly thought the work of Simply 50 - refining life for the next decade 
was in the writing of the posts every day last October. I’m now realizing that the real work has just begun.

I’m currently trying to put into practice all of the changes and tweaks I wrote about in the challenge. Friendship was near the top of the list.

Each word/topic is close to my heart and something I strongly believe in...so I remain committed to making the changes...but, wow, it’s not as easy as I’d originally assumed.

​Stay tuned for more refining...

7 Comments
Stacy
2/24/2017 06:55:18 am

Can't wait for our play date! Xoxo

Reply
Mary
2/24/2017 08:13:06 am

I read your blog and read immediately buttonholed a new neighbour to ask her to join me for a coffee. Let's hope thats one new friend!

Reply
Kristen link
3/19/2017 12:29:10 pm

Hello Mary-

Yay! Fingers crossed for you. New friendships are exciting and can be so rewarding. Good job for putting yourself out there.

:-) Kristen

Reply
Lisa
3/4/2017 06:58:51 pm

I love this post!! I've done the same thing and focused on my kiddos and forgot about taking care of me. Time to get the ladies together!!

Reply
Kristen link
3/19/2017 12:30:42 pm

Hi Lisa-

Thanks. Best of luck to you...time with friends is so important and so easily overlooked when we're busy being mom or climbing the corporate ladder...or both!

:-) Kristen

Reply
Christy
3/10/2017 12:18:15 pm

This is so timely for me! I moved to Denver 4 years ago with my husband and we now have a vibrant and wonderful 2 year old son. We're in a stage (and have been for years) of looking for other couples to have friendships with and it's really hard. We're older parents (39 and 43) of a young child and so a lot people I meet have no kids or much older kids. Hard to find the in-between. I related to the "breezy" friendships due to lack of wanting to commit to someone or something in case it didn't fulfill me. Now it's time to get back into the friendship game. Thanks for the reminder that we can always start today!

Reply
Kristen link
3/19/2017 12:38:06 pm

Hello Christy-

Thanks for your comment. I moved to CO in 2012...I completely understand that regardless of the situation, it's scary to move to a new town! And it's hard to build meaningful adult friendships...especially when you're busy being a mom.

I hope you find some really amazing women to befriend. Try not to let the age thing stand in your way...I had my third child at 37 and as a result some of my closest friends are a decade my junior.

If all else fails, I'm in Boulder and would be happy to grab a coffee with you:-)

Thanks for following along. Best of luck connecting with some awesome girls!

Kristen

Reply



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