I’ve been pretty good at incorporating elements of self-care into my life since my children were small. I’ve always made workouts a priority. I’m an excellent and regular napper. I’ve even been know to treat myself to a mani/pedi for no reason. But I’ve recently been ‘turned on’ to a whole new world of self-care. One I've been desperately seeking...
For as long as I can remember, I’ve had a very hard time seeing myself as sexy or even sensual. Despite an active, wonderful sex life, I've struggled to really identify with my sexy, feminine side.
Sure, there were times when I’d feel a wave of ‘sexy’ wash over me but they were fleeting and infrequent.
In an effort to understand (and eager to shift) my thoughts and feelings in this area, I began looking at the 'story' in my mind. I now recognize the history that created the limiting beliefs I held about my body and its lack of apparent sexiness.
In no particular order...
I’m not curvy
I was considered a prude in high school
I’ve always been angular
My lips are thin
My breasts are small
I’ve had only a handful of lovers
I had no healthy, sexy role models
And so, for the past several years, I’ve been working to discover, claim, invent and unearth the sexy side of Kristen.
What a long road...littered with lots of negative self-talk.
One very helpful experience was a photo shoot with a loving boudoir photographer. That giant step outside of my comfort zone and the resulting images, enabled me to see myself and my body through fresh eyes.
I’ve been blessed to know some very sexy women. Women who always seem wrapped in a soft, sensual cocoon. Without trying, everything about them is sexy. Not blatant, overt, tacky sexy...but that genuine...'I want some of whatever she has' kind of sexy.
The funny thing is, I know sexy women who have the same physical qualities that I feel are holding me back...small breasts, angular bodies, or thin lips.
I once asked my husband if I was ever sexy and if so, when?
His reply says it all…”Yes. When you think you are.”
Thankfully, I think I finally get it!
A sexy self-care practice has been helping me see myself differently. I highly recommend it, especially if you'd like to rewrite your story.
Here's what I've been incorporating into my life...
Foot massage - I do this at least once a day, as a result I've developed a profound gratitude for my feet. My entire body is more relaxed after a foot rub. I'm working sensuality in from the ground up:-)
Morning sexy cat-cow - First thing out of bed...I drop to the floor and do a few slightly R-rated cat-cow stretches...moving my hips and chest with each breath. (Another take-away from Nine Revolution. Thank you, Morgan Day Cecil:-)
Breast massage - Once a day, in candlelight with a skin-friendly oil (I use Jojoba Oil). This practice already feels life-changing. I didn't realize how much my bad attitude towards my small breasts was affecting my body image. This incredibly simple massage practice has completely shifted my thinking. I now accept the size and shape of my breasts as a beautiful trade off for years spent nursing my three children. I see my body in a brand new way! Want to try? Here's more info. (And more wisdom from my One-on-One with Morgan at Nine Revolution...follow this goddess on IG:-)
Essential oils - Get yourself a diffuser and fill your home with a scent you love. I'm still a beginner, but I'm discovering that a sensual scent filling the air goes a long way to changing how I feel.
Body love - Gratitude and a full-length mirror. Get naked and offer yourself some kind words. Look past what you don't like and give thanks for all that your body can do. Having trouble with this? Check out Jade Beall's- A Beautiful Body Project.
How do you practice sexy self-care?
I welcome your thoughts and ideas.
Questions? Comment below or feel free to email me at firstname.lastname@example.org
Thanks for following along this month. As you may have noticed, I'm not holding back. Authenticity seems more important than ever. Thank you for letting me share. I sincerely that hope my words are helpful to you.
Catch every day of Write 31 Days. Sign up here.
Hello, I'm Kristen.
As a personal stylist,