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​This space is all about seeking
​EXCITED CHILLS and creating a
simple, authentic, beautiful life.

I do hope you'll stay a while!

On the search for SENSUALITY

10/23/2016

8 Comments

 
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Sensuality is t
he enjoyment, expression or pursuit of physical (especially sexual) pleasure. When I think of the word sensuality, I imagine things that are pleasing to the senses...satin sheets, beautiful fragrances, warm, soft knits, flickering candles, sumptuous meals, exquisite lingerie, intimate moments.

Unfortunately, I have a very hard time relating the word sensuality to myself. I’m not exactly sure why, but there is a definite disconnect between how I think of myself and sensual.

Wow. This month just keeps pulling out all the stuff! I didn’t realize how much there is in my life that I'd like to refine:-)
​

I’ve never felt particularly sensual. In addition, while I’m comfortable with my own sexuality, I rarely feel sexy. For a long time I didn’t really pay much attention to these missing elements in my life. I didn’t view sensuality and sexiness as something I could attain. Therefore, I dismissed them.


Looking back, I definitely felt sexiest and most sensual while I was pregnant. I’m not sure if that’s due to the fact that my body, usually straight and angular, was full and curvy or if it was the incredible empowerment that comes with creating life, but I felt vital and in touch with my sensuality like never before.


When my children were small, I struggled with where Mommy stopped and where Kristen began. It was difficult to turn off the parenting and tap into my sensual side...especially when it didn’t seem obvious to me that I had one.


At different times in my past, I've tried to identify my issues surrounding feeling sexy and owning my own sensuality.

The problem always comes down to a lot of mind noise. Internal feedback about body type, breast size, fitness level, beauty, age...this list is long.

And a bit ridiculous.

I’ve personally known women of all sizes and ages who exude a very definite sensuality. Their appeal is felt by all who come in contact with them. They give off a definite sensual vibe. It’s natural and compelling.


I want that for myself.

Internally and externally. I realize that I need to move away from the voice in my head (in so many ways).

I refuse to believe that it’s too late for me to feel sensual.
Or sexy.

It’s time for a sensuality shift.  


I’m hoping it’s possible to cultivate a sense of self-love that boosts sensuality as a side effect.

I have several women in my life who possess the quality I’m seeking. I’m hoping they’ll be willing to share the essence of their sensuality and sexiness with me...and that their stories will inspire me to make some internal adjustments.

Externally, I’m positive there are measures I could take that would make my surroundings more sensual.

Here’s where I’m starting...

I’ve begun to actually light the scented candles I’ve been hoarding for years. I work at Anthropologie for goodness sake...I always have access to incredible candles.

I plan to buy some rich body lotion, decant it into a beautiful dispenser...and then use it.

Our home needs a little sensuality upgrade. Again, Anthropologie has a huge selection of linens, blankets, pillows and towels that look and feel incredible. I need to explore my options and invest in a few items that will up the sensuality factor in our home.

I’m currently working on improving the sounds that surround me. My music library has needed an infusion of great music for too long. The time has come to tune into songs that improve the quality of my life.

Undergarments...this drawer needs some attention. For too long, I've ignored the importance of building a beautiful wardrobe from the foundation out.



Thankfully, there are some areas of my life that already feel sensual...

I’m pretty good with mood lighting (candlelight for dinner, every night) and delicious, beautifully prepared meals (Thank you, Matthew).  



I could really use your help. If you have tips on feeling more sensual or sexy...please don’t hesitate to share.

Shy about commenting below?
​Email me privately at
kristen@togetheract.com  

I welcome your suggestions and insight.


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Thank you for being here.
xo Kristen

8 Comments
Kris Palmer
10/23/2016 06:42:57 pm

Brave piece. No other comments, but congratulate yourself for thinking about it and writing it. Life is short, after all....

Reply
Kristen link
10/27/2016 01:50:00 pm

This comment, from you, means the world. Thank you.

Reply
D'Ann
10/23/2016 09:02:55 pm

love this. Your words are so eloquent and honest and brave. I think sensuality and luxury are sisters. I too want to fill my life with more of each!

Reply
Kristen link
10/27/2016 01:51:22 pm

Oh, thank you. I'm so happy to have you following along. Let's hold each other accountable in this area:-)

Reply
Teresa Nora Trobbe link
10/23/2016 11:26:28 pm

Well, I have a sexy Idea. We are not that far apart.:-) wink wink Sensuality is contagious and for me spur of the moment. I just jumped on a plane to dublin last month as My girlfriend invited me. Of course, my sony followed. something about the spontaneous act felt adventures and heighten my sensuous. Enjoy your post's!! thanks

Reply
Kristen link
10/27/2016 01:53:20 pm

I love your sexy idea! I am about due for a repeat performance:-) You are my girl when it's time.

I completely agree that spontaneous acts are often the most sensual! Dublin sounds amazing!

Hope you are well.
xx

Reply
Anna
10/24/2016 12:10:28 am

Love this post! When I was reading your post I was thinking that I fit into the Mum with young children phase of my life and unconsciously I have began this shift for myself. In the last couple of weeks I felt frumpy and definitely not sexy and if my husband ever made comments about me being sexy I would laugh out loud. Then one day not too long ago I thought to myself I need to start looking after myself a bit more. I went and got a new hairdo and have consciously been putting on makeup, bothering to style my hair and wearing my favourite perfume everyday. My husband has noticed and even my kids have noticed "Mummy are you going out today?" but no just trying to begin the day by making a bit of effort and I think when you pass the mirror and think you look nice then that"self love" shines through. For me sensual women always smell really feminine and that is a good place to start. Also creating your home to have that luxe home feel is important and I love to light a candle, switch out tv for some music and I am trying to be more intentional with how I present myself and my home.

Reply
Kristen link
10/27/2016 01:55:56 pm

Hello Anna-

I LOVE this so much! I am thrilled that you are making small changes to practice self love.

We have so much more to give our children and spouses after we take the time to recharge and refill our souls. Sounds like you are off to a really great start! Thank you for sharing your story. :-)

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