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If there is one human habit that seems hardest to break, I believe it's judging others. This insidious and seemingly innocent practice is destructive and damaging. On some level, judging others either makes us feel better about ourselves or worse...and often the practice becomes a bit addictive...creating a cycle of automatically judging others without really giving them a chance to ever disprove our internal assessment.
An important aspect of the human psyche is our ability to judge our surroundings and size up who poses a threat. From a survival standpoint, that’s understandable.
However, we’ve somehow decided that it’s acceptable to cast judgement on everyone and everything that crosses our path or our mind?
How did we all become so mighty?
The problem seems to be gaining speed in our current world. A daily dose of social media provides us with a constant stream of pretty pictures, giving us a glimpse of someone else’s life.
Instead of simply appreciating a beautiful image, we judge.
Either we judge ourselves for being what we consider inferior or we judge the ‘online persona’ for being perfect...or imperfect. What a wacky practice!
I truly believe we can do better.
We owe it to ourselves and those around us.
It’s taken too long, but I’ve finally arrived at a place where I am actively choosing non-judgement.
I find this to be easier when it pertains to judging others. I’m more compassionate when I consider the hardships of others. With regards to myself and my own stuff, I’m still quick to judge. Usually rather harshly.
What’s with that?
Why are we so hard on ourselves?
Why do we internally bash ourselves and proclaim the worst?
Years ago, I learned an interesting technique for practicing kindness towards oneself. Simple and effective, the idea is to picture yourself as a child...and consider whether you would treat her the way you’re currently treating yourself.
I’m profoundly impacted by the immediate change in perspective I feel when I think of my childhood self and how she would feel under the weight of my imposed judgments.
I’ve decided it’s time to cut myself some slack. I need to be just as gentle with myself as I’m learning to be with others. I plan to continue cultivating a mind that chooses acceptance first.
The reality is this… everyone has a story.
We have no idea what’s going on with someone else and to judge them based the story we create, is completely unfair.
I’m challenging myself to experience a Judgement Free Day!
I’ll attempt to wipe out all thoughts of judgement before they even arise. As I stated, I think this will be easier when directed at others than myself.
Here’s what I tend to judge within my own life…
my body- strength, firmness, size
my home- cleanliness, size, furnishings
my abilities- accomplishments, unfinished tasks, creativity, work ethic
my finances- bank account, bills, expenses
Oh, the list could go on forever!
There is no benefit to this ridiculous habit. It’s time to rewrite the running commentary in my head.
If my mind is going to be busy thinking thoughts...I want them to be positive, non-judging thoughts.
I want to do my part to make the world a slightly more welcoming place for those I encounter along the way.
Are you judgmental?
What do you judge?
Are you worse with yourself or others?
Thank you for digging into these topics with me. There’s so much to keep exploring and learning and uncovering. I'm feeling excited about this decade:-) Thanks for being here.
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